163 Ahuza Street, Raanana, ISRAEL -- Telephone/Fax: (972)-9-7717080
JEWISH JOKES
THE JEWISH MOTHER
Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said: 'Lady, I haven't eaten in three days.
'Force yourself,' she replied.
THE SOUTHERN PARTY
A well off southern woman living near an army base in the deep American south wanted to do something patriotic for the boys in uniform so she decided to invite 5 officers to a party to meet the local girls.
She calls the base and asks to speak to the general in charge. Excitedly she gets right to the point, about inviting 5 officers to a party to meet the local girls, but then adds 'Don't send any Jews!,' to which the General after a pause answers 'OK'.
The next weekend with the party getting underway there's a knock on the southern woman's door. When she opens the door there stands five big BLACK Army officers.
'There must be some mistake,' she mumbles.
'No mam,' answers the Black captain. 'General Cohen never makes mistakes!!!'
THE HASIDIC JEW
A Hasidic Jew walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The Hasidic Jew replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"
More Jewish Jokes
Table of Contents